-Selling our house (while still living in it)

We have to always keep our home show ready because of the back to back to back showings and complete strangers wanting to be all up in our bathroom, our bedroom, our closets and well…all up in our personal space.

Then, somewhere in-between working full-time, we are simultaneously looking to find somewhere else to live, while considering school districts, and proximity to grocery shopping, local parks, to our help i.e babysitters and daycare, commute time back and forth to work, all while actually finding a house that’s big enough, functional enough and most important affordable enough for us to be able to…well afford anything else.

Yay!, moving is SO FUN!

-Sickness running up and through our whole house like a tornado

Imagine an upper respiratory flu that is not only persistent, but highly contagious, likes to stick around for at least a week before moving on and all but completely immobilizes you for at least the first two days with body aches, chills, fever, a cough that makes you sound like you smoke a pack of cigarettes a day and a headache that makes you want to just retreat to a dark room and stay there while you rock back and forth in front of the window, and then just leaves you dragging along for the next week or so.  Then imagine this flu taking its sweet time ravaging through every member of your household, slowly picking them off one, by one, by one.

That’s been us for the last month.

I always brag I never get sick.  Not this time!  That thing took me down like a freight train.  I blame the baby that’s sucking all the life out of my immune system right now.  Gotta love being sick in your third trimester!!

-Third trimester struggle

At this point, I get about 2.5 to 3 hours of sleep a night because I’m either tossing and turning trying unsuccessfully to find a comfortable position or hoping up to go to the bathroom every two hours during which time my hips proceed to crack and give out on me.  About 30 minutes before my alarm goes off for work, I finally find a position I can sleep in.   Never fails.

I have these out of whack hormones that are a danger to everyone around me.  One night as I was working late, my internet kept cutting out, so I’m frantically on the phone with my internet company, while my two youngest are jumping on my back wanting twinkle, twinkle little star, while my pre-teen is hollering over everyone telling me about her day (completely ignoring the two youngest), while trying to communicate with my co-worker, oh all while Braxton-Hicks contractions are kicking my butt.  After getting off the phone ready to kill the customer service rep on the other end, I waddled in the kitchen and proceeded to yell at my husband for not thinking to add diced tomatoes to the dinner and then sobbing uncontrollable in his chest.

Jesus be a fence!

-Husband started a new job

Said job requires at least 12 hours out of his day while the commute requires at least two additional hours.  This job is rather fast paced and learning quickly is absolutely essential so the majority of his attention is currently focused on being the best he can be on the job while my attention is…..everywhere else….all at the same time!

-Husband gets into a car accident

On the way home from work, totaling his paid off car 4 days before he is to start his new job which is 35 miles away from home. Thankfully, he and the other party both came away unscathed.  So begun our journey to find a replacement car that was payment free, reliable, affordable and needed immediately!

On top of all this, we’re trying to get things together for the new baby, shuffling our kids around until I go on maternity leave, planning a birthday party, trying to make time for each other, the kids, and the outside world while trying to keep our ever-loving sanity!

Blogging has been sorta kinda pushed to the backburner for now.

After the worldwind of last year, for 2013 I asked God to show me how to completely trust him and lean on him.

My prayers are being answered!lol

However, through all of this madness I am truly thankful.

-Thankful because God heard my prayers

-Thankful because I’ve been put in situations where I’ve HAD to ask for help.

-Thankful because God has used those around me to always provide the help that was needed.

-Thankful that he’s shown me even when I’ve lost total control, he’s still in control.

-Thankful that I see my need for grace and humbly accept the new abundant supply each morning.

-Thankful that this season of chaos has caused me to lean on him intimately, intensely and completely

Please pray our endurance and strength through it all, while I go somewhere and scream!

2012 had to be one of the most trying and all out craziest years I’ve ever had.  From the beginning to the end!  There was much debris left in the aftermath of 2012’s tornado through my life BUT GOD!  I argued with God too many times to count.  Why wasn’t he listening to me.   Why did it seem like the closer I was trying to get to him, the more determined I was to hear from him, the worse things got.

-2012 brought me brokenness, vulnerability, anger, resentment, and lots of pain

-2012 brought me closer to God

-2012 forced me to just lean in and lean on him

-2012 forced me to see myself for perhaps the first time and see how I was my own self fulfilling prophecy.

-2012 showed me the battle for my soul was real and so much more spiritual and then it is physical

-2012 showed me if I wanted to continue to live trapped inside of the four walls I continued to build around myself, to avoid ever being hurt again, I would die in there alone.

-2012 woke me up

-2012 showed me…ME…it was ugly

And God loved me and held me every step of the way

Here I am in 2013 more determined than ever to hush the voices in my mind that tell me every life strangling word contrary to the word of God.  I realized I got comfortable being scared, fearful and unwilling to completely trust God.

I couldn’t let go of my plan and it was killing me.

Here’s to new beginnings….again.  God in his rich mercy and grace continues to just love on me!!!

I don’t wanna keep this journey to myself, I want to continue to share it with you.

This blog is one of my comfort zone killers because once I share something and post it into cyberspace…I don’t know who sees, who reads, who knows things about me I’d rather leave unsaid FOREVER.  I don’t know who laughs with me, who cries with me, who just reads to criticize me.

God knows I’m most afraid of the unknown

In the end none of that matters.

What matters is my obedience to God and the knowledge that he knows everything that was, is and yet to come.

Photo Credit: Intangible (Creative Commons)

Yay!!  I’m guest posting over at Unknown Jim today.  Below is an excerpt. To read the entire post, please visit Jim’s blog here: It’s time to break up with fear.

Anything I’ve ever done that ultimately was worthwhile… initially scared me to death.  ~Betty Bender

All of us suffer from the paralysis of fear at one time or another.  It can keep us quiet when the world is dying to hear from us.  It keeps us in life draining relationships and dead end jobs.  Fear is the cause of gifts wasted, talents denied and potential unreached.

For those of you who have a perpetual love affair with fear; it’s time to end this abusive relationship.  Allowing fear to rule your life will assuredly guarantee a life that is normal, boring, and anything but impactful.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons

Sometimes, when our walk with the Lord is strongest and we fervently seek his face like never before, it seems our resources are constantly being diluted, pilfered and taken away.  Every possible avenue for triumph is occluded by dead-end signs and blockades preventing any possible intrusion.  The clouds grow thicker, and the night seems darker than ever before.

The enemies of our victory are innumerable.  They camp along our path like sand on a sea shore in abundance.  Our soul can grow weary quickly from the impossible that lies in front of us.  God on our side doesn’t quite seem like enough when most of the resources we depend on are obliterated.

What we are left with couldn’t possibly see us through.  How can the modern day Midianites  of our lives be given into our hands when the cancer has progressed too far, our bank accounts have been stripped to bare bones, the house note is past due, the marriage has died, the job offers stopped coming, and everyone around you seems to have fallen away.

Maybe, just maybe, we are having a Gideon moment.

God has purposely stripped us of most our resources, weapons and army needed for war lest we boast over God and give our own hands the glory for our victory.  When it seems we are most ill prepared for the battle ahead, remember Gideon and the 300.  Remember how God can take a small trinket of men and defeat an entire nation of people.

Study the example of Gideon and let your faith take you where human possibility can’t go.

“…Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, says the Lord of hosts.”  (Zechariah 4)

The first, I spent time filling out the memory book

The second I just managed to throw stuff in the memory book

The third, there is no memory book.

The first, I boiled all the pacifiers daily

The second I rinsed it off every time it hit the floor

The third, I employed the 5 second rule

The first, it was all Baby Phat, Carters and Old Navy

The second, it was all Target, Walmart and outlet shops

The third, it’s all Once Upon a Child and hand me downs

The first, Huggies was a must, changed at the thought of a soiled diaper

The second, Pampers all day, changed at least five times a day

The third, straight Target brand, and “how long you been sitting in this poop”

It’s just not possible or sane to keep up all the hoopla we go through with the first child.  With more kids comes more wisdom and more ingenuity in saving money and cutting corners!

Gotta love motherhood!!

It took me longer than normal to graduate from college.  I was on the 6 year plan.  Changing my major twice and giving birth to my daughter right before my junior year meant a little extra time in lecture halls, dangerous accumulation in loans and much blood sweat and tears invested to make it to the monumental walk across the stage.

I needed money; I needed money bad and I was past ready to start making it. I was tired of owing everybody and their momma, getting calls from creditors and having no way to pay most of the bills I owed.

Even though actually using my degree after spending more than half a decade earning it was sort of scary I dived in head first.  I landed a job interview with EDS; a multinational IT equipment and services company.

I was extra excited and completely ready for my interview.  I was dressed the part, did my research and I KNEW I wasn’t leaving there without a job.  You couldn’t tell me I didn’t have it in the bag.

When I arrived for my interview, I got a tour of the building, and they gave me a run-down of the position.  I would be handling their military account.  I wasn’t sure exactly what that meant but if it meant a steady paycheck I was ready.  I interviewed with a panel of about 4 people.  They asked me in-depth accounting questions and I answered each one with confidence and accuracy and waited for more.

After about 30 minutes of questions, they went on to talking about the details of the position, salary and benefits.  Not even bothering to leave the room, they conversed in a group huddle for a few seconds.  They explained to me all the candidates they interviewed so far had very little knowledge of the concepts they deemed important to know in order to do the job.  I was, as they put it, “a breath of fresh air”.

They said; “Adeline, were not even done interviewing candidates yet but we don’t want to let you get away so we’re making you a job offer today.  $40k to start with an excellent benefits package, paid time off and tuition reimbursement for continued education.  I think I temporarily blanked out after they said $40k.  Back then, 40k was the equivalent of a million dollars to me and after being used to temporary jobs here and there that paid barely enough to keep food on the table, I could barely contain myself.

I didn’t hide the fact that I was hurting for money because when they said, think about our offer and get back to us, I was like…I’ll take it; no thought necessary!

They made plans to fly me to Virginia for training and had me fill out the paperwork for a background check.  I happily complied, they welcomed me to the company and I left feeling like I had just hit the lottery.  You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t all that and some and I flew home to tell everyone the good news.

Everyone was so excited for me.  My now mother-in-law is the mouth of the south, so the news spread faster than an uncontained forest fire.  If you ever want to get information out fast and to a lot of people, tell her, she puts CNN and TMZ to shame.  By the end of the night, my family, his family, my bible study group, all the neighbors on her block and everyone that called her house knew.  It took about a week to complete the background check and everyday seemed like an eternity because I couldn’t wait to get a check started on my new job.  Exactly one week later, as my boyfriend and I were pulling into the driveway of my house my cell phone rang.

It was EDS…

The problem is…many of us don’t and we want to do something about it.

So what is the key to shedding those extra pounds and taking control of your health and your body?

Stop complaining and do it!

That’s it.

No magic pill, detailed weight loss plan, or hip new workout that’s sweeping the nation.  None of those will work if you aren’t willing to to.

I hear people ALL the time saying they want to lose weight, tone or just get their endurance back, but then they make a million excuses as to why they haven’t done it.   Face it, some of us are just lazy!

I can hear you now…”shoot, I don’t know who she talking about, I’m not lazy!”  Well, prove it!

Stop making excuses!

Life will happen:  Kids will need attention, you work schedule will not permit, there won’t be enough money for a gym membership and everything  else that can get in the way…will.  What are you going to do about it?

When the DVD breaks and you can’t do your P90X session for the day are you going to just not do anything or think outside of the box and improvise.

When you work later than you were supposed to and missed your time at the gym are you going to just stop going or give yourself some grace and pick up where you left off the next day.

If you want control of your weight and health bad enough, none of those excuses will pan out or stop you.

Question is…do you want it bad enough?

Don’t just commit to starting; commit to finishing

Why do you think gym memberships skyrocket in the month of January but by April, it’s a ghost town with tumbleweeds blowing in between the treadmills.  Those New Years resolutions to get in shape just don’t stick.  Many women want the quick way out and when they realize meeting their goals will be more work than they signed up for, they bail.  Don’t be one of those people.  Don’t bail out when the going gets tough, or the alarm goes off and you don’t want to get up, or that pint of butter pecan ice cream will NOT STOP calling your name.

Get in your head now that it will not be easy.  Push through when the desire to give up is at its peak, and commit to finishing; you’ll be amazed at the results.

Think Permanent, not temporary

If you’re in it just to lose a couple of pounds , show off for a lil bit or fit into some certain dress and then resume your former lifestyle habits once you meet your goals, you’re in for a rude awakening.

I get a little irritated when I hear people say I’m naturally small or I can’t relate to their weight loss struggles because they look at the now.   Yeah I was thinner growing up but honestly 80% of us can look back at our high school pictures and say “man I was skinny back then.”

Genetics is only half, the other half is that after I had my first daughter I worked my arse off and disciplined myself to work out, eat right and lose the weight.  Contrary to what some might believe, it took two years and it was NOT easy.

Once I got the weight off I didn’t stop there.  I realized I would have to maintain and I changed my eating habits and activity level for the long term.  Now, even after two more pregnancies, it’s just a matter of maintaining and consistently employing the habits that got me here in the first place.

Be consistent

You go hard in the gym for about a week and then forget the gym exist for awhile and then decide you want to go hard again.  Keep this up and you will drive yourself insane and forever wonder why you’re not making progress.  The difference between the ones who meet their fitness goals and the ones who don’t is consistency.  Sadly, too many of us are in the “ones who don’t” category.  Choose to continue to show up even when you don’t feel like it, or don’t even care about shedding the pounds anymore.  Show up anyway.  Decide right now that you’re going to show up when you’re suppose to and do the work whether you feel like it or not.

Don’t just take advice and wisdom, put them to work

There have been a couple of times where I’ve literally spent hours putting together everything I’ve learned from my own weight loss journey and shared it with someone at their requests only to hear from them again, frustrated, wanting more advice.  When asked if they followed what I sent them to begin with…they never got around to it.  Blank stare!

How many times have you read an article or got some great advice from a trainer, got excited about it, shared it with others and just failed to follow it.  Those articles aren’t written or that advice is not given just because those people had nothing better to do.  It’s given for your benefit but if you don’t put it to use and then turn around and complain about your lack of progress is there any wonder why you’re still going around in circles?

So…

The guarantee to meeting your goals:

Stop complaining, ditch the excuses, commit to putting in the work, be consistent, and actually use the tools you are given and see if it doesn’t make a world of difference.

What are you waiting for…go get it!

Instead of coming in from work, dropping my bags on the kitchen counter, rolling up my sleeves and preparing to run from one task to another until the time came and went for me to go to bed, I gave my daughters extra kisses, lots of hugs, and my much needed undivided attention.

This is rare considering there are always bills to be paid, floors to be mopped, hair to be combed, dinner to be prepared and all the other myriad of tasks occupying my time from one day to the next.  I barely stop to breathe and normally the kids fall victim to not enough hours in a day.

When they get older and reflect back on the days of their youth, they won’t remember so much how clean the kitchen floor was kept or how often the clothes were kept from piling up on the dryer, but they’ll remember all the times we rolled on the floor and laughed until our stomachs hurt and how when I read them bedtime stories, I disguised my voice to what I thought the characters sounded like in the book.

So today, as I walked in from work I ignored the disheveled state of the house, walked past the clothes piled on top of the dryer and took Nessa, Livi and Sa’Rae for a walk around the neighborhood, picked up some kids along the way, returned home and sat outside until it was time to feed them dinner.  I actually got the chance to sit down and read a book with them, fumble over letters and sounds with Nessa and talk to Rae and her friends about crushes, anger issues and drama among friends.

Instead of beating myself up over all the things I failed to accomplish, or running around like a chicken with her head cut off, I allowed myself some grace realized all those unfinished tasks would still be there tomorrow and enjoyed the gifts God has given me-my children.  I enjoyed my time with them and didn’t allow the thoughts of life to cloud the joy of living it.

While tomorrow might be completely different and most likely I’ll be back to running around half baked, I realize these days are precious and they are to be cherished because these are the days they will remember most.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It’s not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Marianne Williamson

Another piece of me was liberated today.  As I sat in the presence of those shining their lights before men, they stripped me of every excuse not to do the same.

There are so many believers walking around wasting the talent and gifts they have been blessed with.

Why?

They fear what they’re good at won’t provide the lifestyle they desire, so they abandon their gift.  Or they continually doubt themselves and the fear of never being good enough imprisons them-so they don’t try.

The fear of rejection shuts them up and the fruit of their gift never has the chance to grow.  Or the use of their talent and gifts are misgoverned towards the desire for worldly gain and the pursuit of God’s glory is abandoned.

The common theme of fear is causing too many of us to neglect the gifts God has placed in us.

That’s why I was so excited to support the ministry placed on the heart of Tamika Morton, owner of Ministers of Music Inc.  I’m even more excited that despite the many obstacles, roadblocks and rebuttals from the enemy, she perseveres and charges ahead with what God has called her to do.

What does her ministry do?

She trains those gifted with song to “sing with the understanding.”  In other words, she trains them on the correct way to use and share their gift of singing with the world while putting God’s glory on display.

She recognizes her gifts of singing and teaching, uses them for God’s glory and trains and inspires others to do the same.  She is precisely what this droned out, hopeless, artistically deprived generation needs: someone to inspire them to stand up for their gift, fight for it, and snatch it back out of the control of the enemy.

I had the pleasure of attending her spring vocal recital this afternoon and while I thought I was just going to support a thriving ministry, I came away extremely blessed by the gifts that were displayed.  Singing is not my gift or my ministry but the recital put Gods power on display in ways that were definitely a blessing to me and anyone else who sat in attendance.  I came away with several revelations:

Our gifts are not given for our benefit

I can’t count how many times I have been blessed or inspired by someone’s writing, art, music, or testimony.  It is because they choose to share their gift with the world that I get to experience another encounter with God.

We have no idea the impact the use of our gifts has on others.  I’m sure the singers up there today were nervous and unsure about singing to an audience for the first time.  But we were blessed, awakened and reminded of God’s love for us through their songs.  This world is starving for the display of our gifts because through God, they change the world.

There were many there today who needed a reminder of God’s grace, love, and benevolence; the release of fear and grasp of God’s guiding hand made that possible.

Whether we are teachers, singers, writers, carpenters, or doctors, our gifts and talents are the avenues through which people experience Gods love and provision.  When we extinguish the flame of our gift, we deprive the world of God’s glory.  When we prostitute the use of our gifts for our own selfish gain, God is not glorified and we are never satisfied.

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. (I Peter 4:10-11)

Perfection is not a prerequisite to be used by God

Perfectionists have a hard time producing anything because they rarely feel their work is good enough to debut to the world.  Instead we fret, redo, undo and contemplate over our work until we’ve talked ourselves right out of doing anything at all.

God doesn’t need perfect; he is perfect.  He needs faithful doers who operate in obedience and aren’t afraid to abide In his grace.  I saw a great display of obedience and faith as most of those singers took the stage today for the first time.  No, they hadn’t perfected their gift, there was great risk involved in getting on that stage but that didn’t stop them from sharing it with the world, and we were blessed because of it.  It is by using our talents that they grow.

We must nurture our gift and maintain it

At the conclusion of the recital, the students were admonished not to stop there, but to continue learning and nurturing their gift.

God doesn’t require perfection to start but that is no excuse not to strive for it.  Our gifts will not nurture themselves, we must sow into them, strengthen and grow them.  Gifts are like muscles-we use or lose.  We must constantly exercise our gifts to build them up.  Practice may not make perfect but it will guarantee proficiency.  If our gifts are to make a difference in this world, we must reject mediocrity, refuse to settle and continue to work towards God’s high calling.

The Ministers of Music encourages us all to stop operating in fear and let God be glorified through the display of our gifts.  There will be great opposition in the form of doubt, unbelief, procrastination and worry, but if we allow God to take control and realize his strength is made perfect in our weakness, we are unstoppable and our gifts will change the world.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit —fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.  (John 15:16)

August 9, 2006

If knowing is half the battle, taking action is definitely the other half. One cannot be successful without the other.

I’ve found even with myself that too often we excel in one but completely lack the other. Take one of my family members Sara for example. She has gone to school, classes, conferences and seminars on just about everything from insurance to real estate to childcare! She is a very smart lady and she is knowledgeable in many areas, heck she even has experience running her own successful business. So what’s the problem you say? She won’t get off her fanny and do anything with it. She has all these certificates and knowledge but when you ask her what she’s doing with it, she simply replies, she’s waiting on God to give her the opportunity. Well, keep waiting sister, because that’s exactly what you’ll be doing until Jesus comes!

Unless she decides to get off her fanny and do something, all that knowledge will go to waste!

Now take another family member Marie on the other hand. She is definately a doer. When she sees an opportunity or the mere hint of an opportunity, she’s off and running. Don’t try to ask her if it’s a good idea because when you turn around she’s already gone! She seizes every opportunity and her willingness to get up and move will make her a millionaire. But there’s just one problem. She refuses to look into anything before she does it. She takes too many things at face value. Instead of researching and learning all she can about a subject, she takes off running without giving it a second thought. This has cost her thousands and thousands of dollars and a consignment of insurmountable stress through the years. She takes the term “pay someone smarter than you to do it” to the extreme. While this is a smart idea, she doesn’t take the opportunity to learn or even learn about the person she’s leaving in charge.

When you take Sara’s myriad of information and knowledge and Marie’s get up and do attitude you’ve got an undeniable success waiting to happen. Even in the spiritual realm, we have got to learn that learning without doing and doing without learning is detrimental. We can read the bible all day long and get every prophecy under the rainbow but if we don’t use the inertia God gave us we’re just water lillies waiting to be stumped. On the other hand if we jump at our own whimsicle and neglect to learn what God says about the matter, we too often dive head first into a self-made disaster!

Faith without works is dead: Knowledge without action is futile!